I only asked how much time she thought was wasted on trivial e-mail conversations. Instead of answering quantitatively, my good friend Linda sent me a few lines of verse - which resulted in the following e-mail conversation...
Linda :
I find that whilst I do not shirk
my duties when I am here at work
an inspirational pause or two
and beverage can aid me through
and then when focussed on my chore
I like to think I get through more.
Rod:
But think how much more you'd achieve
if you weren't always taking leave
wrenching your attention from the delightful work
of a medical secretary (or clerk)
to partake in biscuits, tea and blogging
and think of the internet link you're hogging!
Linda:
Should I feel guilt then when I write
an e-mail and no more delight
In sharing an occasional comment or two
with friends such as yourself who
I might otherwise rarely share
a thought with and how dare
you accuse me of internet hogging
when you are using both e-mail and blogging!
Rod:
Data flies from house to house
silent as an airborne mouse
It wouldn't do to make a racket
when sending out a data packet
else your boss might reassess
your salary and pay you less.
Linda:
Although maybe I whoop and shout
if happy sometimes when I'm out
when typing e-mails at my desk
the noise I make is somewhat less
I doubt my boss, should he pass by
would think that anything was awry.
Rod:
One of the perks of the self-employed
is having no boss to be annoyed
I can set my own workload
be disgraceful - no conduct code
I can make loud whoops and hollers
But I wish I could earn more dollars.
Linda:
Whilst of course envious to a certain degree
In so many ways I would rather be me
I have done all my work (and done it with style)
and helped a dyslexic, which was very worthwhile
and managed to gossip and drinks cups of tea
but without the temptation of food, naps or TV.
Rod:
Temptation is the one thing I could never resist
so please do not mention food I insist
for now - as I'm typing this speedy reply -
you've started me thinking of chips, beans and pie.
Linda:
I ate some chocolate (very nice)
But for now that will suffice
But if I go out in the rain
I think some chips might ease the pain.
Rod:
This rhyming ping-pong is a delight
but you do hold the copyright
of every word and every verse
(both the better and the worse)
And though I'd like to blog the lot
(at least the bits that I've still got)
You might want to publish a compilation
(for a doubtlessly grateful nation)
Did you have anything planned
or should I publish and be damned?
Linda:
Although I admit that it is a hoot
I see this simply as trivial pursuit
If you wish to pursue a more serious line
then anything wish will be perfectly fine.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
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Oooooohhh Twas in the bitter winter of the year two thousand and five
That many people ensured they reamined alive
by seeking shelter from the driving snow
and on the internet they did rhyme
although
some people thought it might be a terrible waste of time
but in the end its quite nice to know
that this gloriously silly poetic occupation
Could even now be flooding out by electrons across many nations
And better yet that we all still
Celebrate that famous scottish poet McGonagal
and oooooooooooooooooooohhhhh
6:09pm?
Its much later where you are! Here its 10:15 AM and Snowing........ Which, when subtracted, leaves at least Eight hours to think up another one ... and for the snow to melt - leaving significant pools around the knees and a slight stench of rotting sock.....
Matt - yes, Linda tells me it is indeed all your fault. This craze for McGonagal-ish e-mails. You have a lot to answer for. :-)
And anonymous - The time zone difference suggests you might be somewhere in Romania? Would that be correct?
Hello fans!,
Anonymous of Romania here!
So my secet location is out...
but wait!! Its coming back in again and has flung itself into the library in disgust...flung itself into a chair in the kitchen, flung itself at all the walls, door and two windows, finally its....flung itself onto a horse and ridden off madly in all directions.....Curse this snow!
So at last we discover
Anonimu's secret assignation
With snow, and yet melting
Find with sock contamn'd
Perhaps he too should blog and be damned?
Snow admits green nuns.
Leaves talk and smoke flutters sheep.
Mouths slip then hail turns.
Say Anonimous, Its only 10:15? I'll take your 10:15 and raise you 16:20 and remember thats cheap!
Cheap? who said that? add it all up :- thats not cheap! is that in Lei or Dollars American? If its Lei lets play ball, otherwise maybe we can think of some other games...maybe involving being in the dark with only a torch for comfort...say it really is getting dark here isn't it...I'd give a whole dollar for a lightbulb.....75c for an oil lamp (and 10 Dollars for the oil) OK 50c for a candle and thats my last offer..2c for a match? So you won't budge eh? You drive a hard bargen... and you drive it on the wrong side of the street!
Just remember you'll be laughing out the other side of your wardrobe when this gets about!! OK you win - how much snow?
Twas on the morning of the September the first
When the wind howled like it had been cursed
That I saw a man with a wooden shield
Get off the train from bonny Wakefield
But why, thought I this shield should he bear?
and so it was I continued to stare
at the man with the wooden shield,
getting off the train from bonny Wakefield.
And so it was with bated breath, I went to the man, who didn't look deaf.
and said 'my good man, I hope you could tarry
and tell me of that shield that you do carry.'
The man looked me up and down, then said
'Get thee hence or I will break tha head'
and so it was he went away
and left me in complete disarray
Oh shielded man, I must conclude
I must have caught you in a bad mood.
the reason why, I could not have said.
But what was the axe doing sticking out of your head?
I salute you shielded man for your tirade
and in my memory you will never fade
for it was on that morning so jolly
that I met my first complete wally.
and so, i must conclude my text
and consider what I should write of next.
Perhaps I should write of the bridge of the silvery Tay
That stood there majestic until the day, it fell.
But to that, i shall not give it my all.
I shall leave it to my mentor, William McGonagal.
Instead I shall think of the man with the shield.
Are they all like that in bonny Wakefield?
Lots
Anonimous of Roumania
This thread is getting out of hand
Not at all what I had planned
Wakefields's icy mountains are fascinating and grand,
And wondrously created by the Almighty's command;
And the works of the Almighty there's few can understand:
Who knows but it might be a part of Yorkshire's remote land?
Oh wond'rous thread of poems out of hand,
If we go on like this will we get banned?
We'd thought it harmless - not meant to annoy...
A somewhat surreal but jolly liter-rar-rar-y toy
I expect we all could shut up and stop
If you really wanted to give this fun thread the chop?
What say you Rod do we go on?
Or would you rather we found other ways of amusing ourselves?
and yet Rod see it as a log
of proof that people read your blog.
and as for the frozens wastelands of the North
from where many people sally forth
I cannot remember icy mountains grand
in that wintery land
I think you say it on a whim
whilst most just mutter 'Oop North, it's grim!'
And let those that read or hear this feel thankful to God
That the icy fields of Newark they have never trod;
Especially while seated around the fireside on a cold winter night,
Let them think of the cold and hardships Newark residents have to fight.
anyone for iambic pentameter?
Now I go to buy some strings
So my guitars most clearly sing
I'll look in later; read the thread
and see if others post instead
to those that write the posts surreal
You need a different thread I feel
This one's not for all that stuff
Tho' I don't mind:- it's fine enough
Whilst round about the snows still falling
and my feeling is that these rhymes are getting quite appalling
Time wasted? Well I think not
what a response - there's quite a lot...
Ho Humm
The MattSter
Just re-read this. Twas fun!
Re-read it too. Remarkably good. Were we once that clever? I'm impressed.
:-)
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